I had a dream...

Last night I had a dream. In the dream I was standing in a room with no roof, and the sky was brilliant. The room was full of the most vibrant and beautiful colors I'd ever seen. Despite being in a strange place it felt so perfectly right. There was a curtain and I cracked it. I saw the back of a child with long beautiful hair. She had on shorty PJ's.(Hannah's loved shorty pj's) She was turned toward a wall filled with letters, numbers, colors, shapes, calendars, & a number of things. My heart was beating almost out of my chest. There were about 20 or more other children sittiing criss cross on the floor. The little girl turned around and it was Hannah. She looked so amazingly happy. I couldn't get to her and it was frustrating. Finally I just stopped trying and watched as she took the pointer and began her calendar time. She pointed to things and asked a child what it was and they'd respond and she'd tell them "you got it going on girlfriend!" She reached up to the shape oval and paused a minute, ran her fingers perfectly around it and felt it.(Hannah had severe hypotonia in her fingers and hands and never could trace anything without assistance) One of the kids said, "what is it Ms. Hannah?" She turned and looked at him and said with true appreciation, "that my friend is an oval." They contnued circle time and another of the children said, "how old are you Ms. Hannah". Her reply was with a sheepish grin..."66.....nooooooo, I am 8 yrs old but almost 9!" For those who know Hannah she would always say she was 66 and then correct herself. It was another one of those awnry things she did. It also took her half a year to learn and understand that she had grown a year older. Thihs is where my dream ended...She looked up and right at me, gave me and wink and turned around and said...."story time". In her hand was the book..."The Farmer didn't wake up."(I buried that book with her because it was her favorite) I never got to her or talked to her. I was an observer. It felt o.k. though. Like I'd be back.

I'm not sure what to think about dreams. Right now I don't care. I'm just thankful for this one. It's helpful to see my girl happy and whole. It's unbelievably hard not having her with me. The last two days have been gut wrenching. I miss Hannah so much. We all do. Including Koolio. He still looks for her. Our lives have been forever changed. I'm thankful for every moment we had with her and I wish we'd had so many more. I've been really talking with God the last couple days about helping us through this and I know He is and will.

We really appreciate your continued prayers and support. I don't know what we'd do without it. Our family did start counseling last week to help get through this together. The last thing we want is for one of us to need the other and we be so wrapped up in our own grief that someone gets left behind. Pray for wisdom, strength and courage for us all. Love y'all so much!