Saturday, February 20, 2010

Depressing

It feels like whenever I open my mouth or start to type anything it comes out depressing. I do not like being the depressing person. I don't think anyone in my position could ever be constantly upbeat but I strive to be as positive as I can despite the circumstances, and to find the good in everything that happens. Let me tell you these circumstances stink to high holy heaven though! I am sorry that I am this person now but I don't think it's going to change. Actually I'm not sorry because the person I am now loved her girl so much that her passing has affected her to the core. I don't think any mom that loved their child could lose them and be the same. My hope is that some of you love me or like me enough to let that be o.k.

I do feel dog piled and there isn't a lot of positive stuff going on in my life right now. Honestly everything kind of stinks all the way around. My boys, David and my faith that God has a plan are all that get me up each day.

Hannah's loss has turned my world upside down. I need to stay busy so I am going to attempt to participate in a weekly group(similar to ones I've done in past) and will take a break from blogging for a bit. I promise if anything eventful happens I will post it here. I will continue Hannah's blog in some form and will share that with all of you when I do it. Thank you to all of you who continue to support and pray for us. It means a lot to me.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Marcey I love you! I don't think you're depressing. I am sure you are so hurting to the core of your being. I am continuing to pray for you (and your family) in all of this. I wish I had more to say that could comfort you. I just want you to know you are loved!

Lisa

Anonymous said...

Oh sweety, you just please feel free to grieve. Its okay. I think its much better to let the feelings out then to try to put on a mask and pretend you're not hurting. You are allowed to grieve for as long as you need to. I wish I was there to give you a giant bear hug and to rock with you.We would both cry our eyes red. Please feel safe to grieve here.
You and yours are still in my prayers.
Said with very much love,
hisvessel

Anonymous said...

Please DO NOT apologize for your pain. I can't imagine your loss nor would I ever want to feel it as a mother of three myself.

You are a remarkable women of strenght and faith.

May his presence comfort you and your family in these dark and ugly day's. His presence and love will bring you and your heart.


May God continue to be with you and your family.

Sally G said...

Marcey you are loved and prayed for. I heard a really great lesson last night. Do you know the song, We are climbing Jacob's Ladder? Well, Jacob didn't climb it, and we don't have to either. God comes down to us. We just need to lean into Him and let Him do the work.

Don't fret about dog piles or anything else. Just miss your girl, be thankful for the pain, and love your boys and David, and let them love you.

In prayer for you all

Joan said...

Marcey and family, I want to let you know that my heart and my prayers are with you. You all have lost the main core of your lives. Hannah has been the main focus of the entire family ever since she was born so I know her loss has left such a big hole in each of your lives and hearts. You have every right to be angry. I am thankful that you have God in your life to help you through. I know there is no words to comfort you at this time.Just know all of you are loved. God bless you,Sis Joan

Anonymous said...

Hannah we miss you so much. May you rest and be free from all of the pain and problems you endured in your life.

GOD BLESS