Sunshine

You are my sunshine...my only sunshine...you make me happy when skies are gray...you never know dear how much I love you...so please don't take my sunshine away...

Hannah and I would sing this song daily.  I loved the sweet way she said the words.  Precious moments I'll never forget.  Never.  I can't tell you the number of times I'd sing the last phrase of that song with tears in my eyes.  Something in me, although I wouldn't admit it, knew I'd not always have my girl with me.  I'm thankful for all the time I spent with my girl and all the fun we had.  I do however wish I had spent more time and we'd have had more fun.  I keep replaying the last couple months with Hannah in my mind and I can tell you that I'm extremely thankful for the prompting that I believe God gave me to put down what I was doing and spend time with Hannah.  So many times she'd come in the middle of me doing something and I'd want to put her off only to feel a quickening that I do not know if I'll have tomorrow.  I'd put everything down and spend some precious moments with my girl.  Moments I'll forever cherish.  I know it probably sounds strange to some, but it is what happened to me and I believe God gave me a gift in the quickenings.  Time is truly a gift.  I'm grateful.

Hannah's bench is done and dedicated.  It is beautiful and it's perfect.  It is a project that I'm so glad we did and I'm so incredibly thankful for the artist; Linda Solby, Harwood, and HISD for making it a possibility.  I started putting the bench project together in March of this year only months after Hannah's passing.  It was fun and fulfilling to see it through.  Hannah's teacher put together the unveiling and she did an incredible job.  It was all just perfect.  The day after the unveiling I did not get out of bed or my PJ's until after 2 p.m.  I found myself grieving and feeling like I had done the last tangible thing I could do for Hannah on this earth.  It was a tough day.  Those come and go and I'm learning to go with the eb and flow of things.  Not easy but it's my reality and I am learning.

The holiday season is upon us and I have found myself wanting to throw a hissy fit and ban it this year.  I don't want to do Christmas without my girl.  Another part of me can't help but remember the beautiful and wonderful last Christmas we had with Hannah.  I am trusting God to get me through in whatever manner he sees fit because I sure don't have a clue how to do it.  I'm thanking God that He has a plan and works things in such a way that only He can do.  I"m confident we'll get through the next couple of months(Thanksgiving  through the one year anniversary of Hannah's death) with the same grace and mercy that has lead us through the past 10 months.  He's faithful.

We're all doing o.k. and I know that's in huge part to all the prayers and support from our friends and family.  Thank you!