Another day...

Other than a little tiredness, constipation,(side effects of meds that hopefully will subside) and screaming/screeching(still don't know what that's about. Afraid to even type what I'm thinking it may be.) Hannah seems to be doing well. We had that one day of complex partials last week and the epi raised one of her meds and so far so good. Since being off the keppra there is no more hours and hours of crying. We have our happy girl back. I'm so thankful. I was afraid we had lost her forever. We're still awaiting results from tests. Hannah sees the epi on the 18th of August and I'm praying everything is in for him to review by then. Especially the genetic test they did.

It's not looking like we'll be moving before school starts. I had hoped we would be able to but it's not in the cards it seems. About the time I think it's a possibility something sets it back. I'm trying to leave it in God's hands. Much better there than in mine. It's not like we hate Hillsboro or anything so staying won't be the end of the world. Hillsboro has cut back an aid in Hannah's class and the new teacher is a first year(altough I heard first year teacher are the best). The aid that handled Koolio was not brought back for this year so I'm not sure how it's all going to work out. I'm sure the new teacher will be fine. I just worry about the aids being less knowing the behavior issues that abound. Hannah's on a different rescue med as well as she'll have to take one of her meds at school in the middle of the day. Plus, we'd have to decide who will handle Koolio and train them because out of the two returning aids, one is scared of dogs, and the other would do fine on occassion but not as a constant handler. I'm not sure how the new teacher feels about dogs. At this point Koolio not being with Hannah is not an option so we'll have to figure it all out. I've never been let down by the staff in charge of making it all work though so I am trying to relax and just take a wait and see approach. My number one priority is that Hannah be safe and be able to learn.

I took her to the doctor the other day and it was such an ordeal. The doctor was fine but she ordered blood work and the lab was hideous. Hannah was a trooper. The lab tech was shaking so bad it was a miracle she could hold the needle. She even said at one point...."I've never seen an autisitic girl before". She didn't get any blood and I refused to let her try again. When we reported back to the doctor that they were unable to get any blood the doctor sent us back for a finger stick so we could get the needed results and called the lab and told them not to let that lady do the stick. Thankfully, Hannah took it all in stride. I really worry about the ability of Hillsboro hospital staff/EMT's to care for Hannah in an emergency. They work their tails off to stabilize her and I have no doubt they'd do everything in their power to help but they just aren't equipped. I can't help but wish we were just a short drive to the hospital that can help her best. I mean they have to stabilize her and then send her an hour away. What happens if they can't stabilize her enough to get her to the hospital? At least if we were closer an ambulance could run her to the hospital that can stabilize her. Again, God knows what he's doing and I have to let him work. And trust his work.

My faith waivers so often. I'm so hungry for inner peace. I want to feel the same assurance that a friend has who just found out her 35 yr old daughter has cancer. I read in awe as she talked about seeing God work in every detail and then proclaim that faith is indeed an adventure. How does one get to that point? Does it come with life experiences or is there something fundamental that I just keep missing?

Enough of my ramblings today. Please keep us in your prayers and thank you for all the encouragement and support.