Friday, April 23, 2010

Dear Hannah

Morning Hannah! It's mommy. Oh sweetie, mommy misses you so much. There's not a moment that goes by that I do not wish I could see your beautiful face and hear your amazingly sweet voice. I know heaven's really enjoying having you around. Do you wake everyone up singing, "wake up little blue bird!" Man, do I miss my mornings with you. I miss you saying, "holdy me" and the warmth and love of that hold. I miss you saying, "thank you Lord for another safe night" as we'd start getting ready for school. I miss our night time routine too. Oh God how I miss those kisses and night time prayers! I just miss you. I miss every little detail of your amazing being.

Your crazy daddy and I are going to try to celebrate being married 20 years this weekend. I know he misses you too. It's a bittersweet occassion for us. Just being able to go makes it more evident you're gone. We'd both gladly trade our weekend if it meant we could have you with us. I'm so glad you had a daddy who loved you so much. The weekend will be fun of course. How can it not be with your daddy making me laugh the entire time, I'm sure. He's still crazy Hannah. You loved him that way and so do I! Oh, Did you know that Koolio does us just like you used to. If daddy hugs me or gets to close he wedges himself between us. It's so cute. We think of you every time he does it and talk about how he must have learned that from you.

Speaking of Koolio, he's lost weight since you've been gone! You fed him way too good girl. He needed to lose a few pounds. He misses you. Sometimes he lays in your room on the floor or in the hallway outside of your room and just looks in. Mommy is trying to keep him busy but no one can keep him as busy as you did! Precious has taken up to sleeping in your bed. I think she misses your shuffling feet behind her all through the house. We didn't realize how attached she was to you. Even the animals are having to adjust to your absense from our lives.

Kyle and Zach are doing o.k. They miss their pesty sister a lot. Kyle is going to college in Huntsville. You sure wouldn't have liked that! You loved having your bubbas close. We're proud of him though and pray like crazy for it all to work out.

Mommy has been so lost without you. I'm trusting in God's plan and knowing that evenutally it'll be o.k. I'll always miss you but my hope is that I'll be able to use what I have learned from your life to inspire hope and help. Four words seem to be the theme of all my thoughts lately. Live, Love, Laugh, and Educate. I think those words describe you. You lived life every minute of every day and you loved it. You definately loved and did it far better than most of us. You laughed. We still laugh at things you did and said. You were hilarious. You educated us all. You inspired education just with your love for it. So as always, mommy is praying for God to order her steps. I remember when you copied me and prayed that. It was so cute. Was there nothing you didn't notice or absorb!?!?

I miss you beautiful girl! More than I can ever express. I can't wait to see you again. I'm going to kiss you until your screaming for me to stop! :) What a day that will be! Until then though, mommy is going to do what she can here to help your life continue to inspire others! I love you sweet girl! ALWAYS! Love, Mommy

PS: By now I'm sure you've met your Uncle Dewayne and you're being spoiled rotten. Make him sing "I'll Fly Away" with you. You'll love his voice!


bscarson said...

Wow! I am amazed by your ability to make me feel what your are feeling. Your writing is so honest and profound. But more than that I am inspired by your hope, depth of insight and eternal perspective. You truly are an encouragement to me... Happy anniversary! I hope you have a wonderful time with your sweetie!

Anonymous said...

Marcey,I hope you and David had a wonderful anniversary. You still just amaze me with your strength and how you give so much of yourself. I can feel and see all the love you have for Hannah and your entire family. Your love indeed shines through. Luv ya,Sis Joan