Friday, May 30, 2014

It's your Birthday!

Wow!  You would have been 13 years old today!  So hard to believe.  We miss you so much Hannah.  As I type this I can hear daddy's music blaring...He's playing all y'alls songs.  :-) 

Last night I tried to imagine what you'd be like at 13 and what we'd be doing.  It saddened me how difficult it was.  I'll never know, but I have my imagination and I imagine you would be wonderful.  You were wonderful.  You were so great Hannah.  You made everyone laugh all the time with things you did.  We can't go through a football season without talking about how you'd streak all of us while we were watching the cowboys.  The boys would holler and you'd giggle.  It was great!  Then there was how you always wanted to give my dirty dishes bubble baths.  I can not stand at my sink without thinking about how much fun we had in the kitchen together.  Thank you.  You loved people and being around them.  Something happened when you entered a room that I have yet been able to explain.  You touched people at their core.  At their heart.  You made them forget all their troubles if only for just a little bit, and you inspired them to push forward whatever they were facing.  You loved life and I'm so glad you did.  I didn't understand it at the could you love life so much when you experienced so much pain?  I get it now Hannah, and I'm so grateful you were there to show me it can be done.  Yes, you were wonderful!

I know you are getting lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead because I ask God regularly to grab you up while you're running around up there and give them to you for me.  I can't wait for the day I can give them to you again myself.  I was thinking the other day about how you came into our lives.  I had two little boys and was done having children I thought.  Zachary comes to his dad and I and asks for a little sister.  He said, "I want a little sister."  Dad and I both were taken back and tried to explain how that wouldn't happen.  His response was, "I'll just pray to Jesus.  Jesus gives me what I want!"  We laughed but Zach prayed, and Jesus did give him what he wanted. :-)  I'm so glad!  I can't imagine a life without the experience of you in it.  You were such a gift from God to all of us.  Especially your momma Hannah.  You'll never know what your life did for me.  Before you came along I had no fight left in me.  I was just existing and trying to survive each day.  Then you showed up and gave me a reason to fight.  Not only that but you modeled for me how life can be enjoyed and loved in the midst of great pain.  You were an angel to this momma Hannah and I'll never forget you or what you've meant to my life.  Thank you!

Hannah thank you for being you!  I wish we could have had you with us much much longer.  I wish you were here for us to go shoe shopping and have a party.  I wish...well, I wish you were just here.  You're not though, but I carry you with me in everything I do.  Every client I see, every work out I do, every song I sing, are part of everything I do.  I'll never forget!  I love you sweet sweet girl!  Until we meet again..."I love my Hannah...She loves me too...I love my Hannah...In everything we do!!!!"