Monday, August 16, 2010

Thanksgiving

Hannah will have been gone 7 months tomorrow. I miss her more than I can ever express. I'm really starting not to believe people when they say it gets easier. It hurts just as much today as it did the day I had to let her go. We would not make it through this without God and the people he has placed in our life. I can't imagine going through this without Christ.

I've been dwelling a lot on my loss lately. It's a huge loss, you know. Easy to dwell on it. I feel Hannah's absense every waking minute of everyday. Hannah was just the kind of person that connected to everything good inside of you. I miss that connection. I just miss her.

This morning during my devotional time I was praying and crying.(I'm a bucket of tears now a days) Towards the end of my prayer time for some reason I just started thinking about how I had Hannah for 8 years. God gave me 8 years, nearly 9, with my girl. I wasn't even supposed to have her a few hours. The very fact that she lived 8 years to experience and influence the world around her was a miracle. My Noo(nickname prounouced Nu) was beautiful. I got to be the momma of the strongest girl I will ever know. A girl that loved life in the midst of great pain and against all odds. A girl that changed the way everyone who knew her thought about and experienced life. A girl that showed me that if you celebrate small accomplishments your life is alot more joyful because you have a lot of small accomplishments and only a few Big ones. There aren't enough words to tell you all that Hannah's life meant to me.

So, today I'm thankful. I will forever be grateful for the years I had as Hannah's momma and look forward to the day when I see her again. BTW, it's becoming less and less puzzling to me why "I'll Fly Away" was her favorite song. It's incredible the more and more I think about it. I wonder if she was singing it as the angels carried her home.

God Bless!

I'll Fly Away

Some glad morning when this life is over,
I'll fly away.
To a home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, O Glory,
I'll fly away.
When I die, Hallelujah, bye and bye,
I'll fly away.

When the shadows of this life have flown,
I'll fly away.
Like a bird thrown, driven by the storm,
I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, O Glory,
I'll fly away.
When I die, Hallelujah, bye and bye,
I'll fly away.

Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away.
To a land where joy shall never end,
I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, O Glory,
I'll fly away.
When I die, Hallelujah, bye and bye

7 comments:

Blessed Wife and Mom said...

Marcey,
I don't have any words to make you feel better. I can't imagine your pain & loss. I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

On a side note, I stopped in my tracks while reading your post today. I, too, have a daughter named Hannah who has epilepsy, and my nickname for her is Noo. I've never heard anyone else use that nickname before; it made me smile :) May God continue to bless you, as you bless others.

Anonymous said...

Hey Macey - I stumbled on your blog and I'm still crying. I believe I know a little of how hollow and wretched you'd be feeling still.

I'm sure you do, but consider how your sadness would make Hannah feel and TRY to be happy like she was. Wouldn't this be what she would want?

Fill your life with a great purpose & your family as you say in your My Ideal Day.

Take care and I hope you find peace very soon. Jule

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the typo in your name Marcey in previous post :(

Diana Doyle said...

I have just read your blog about your beautiful daughter Hannah. I can feel your pain through your words.

I lost my four year old daughter six years ago and I miss her everyday. Take each day and surround yourself with people who will listen, truly listen and support your grief...or just hug you when you need it.

I wish you love and strength ahead in hope that in time your pain lessens. I know we always miss our children, no matter how long its been.
Sending love to you.
Diana Doyle
http://sunshineinabluecup.blogspot.com/

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