Sunday, May 23, 2010

Packing Hannah

This has been a very emotional week for me. On Wednesday I had dinner with Hannah's teachers. On Thursday I visited Hannah's school. I did really well until I left. As I walked down the ramp, along the sidewalk, through the building, to the office, out the office, and into my van, my heart broke. Hannah loved that place. I got to see her guy pals, Alexis, Israel, and Charley Boy(as Hannah called him). When Koolio and I walked in the room Charley and Israel ran to Koolio. They were excited. Alexis ran and was messing with paper. I was a little surprised by that because Alexis always enjoyed Koolio so much. Later however he came to pet Koolio and we noticed that he had made a puppet of Koolio. It had floppy ears and everything. I just love that boy. I had a pin with Hannah's picture on my jacket and Israel made me cry when he rubbed it with his hand and wanted it. It was really tough to do but I'm glad I went. Hannah's teachers are the most awesome humans on this planet and she was very fortunate to have them. I will forever be grateful for the love and care they gave my Hannah.

Yesterday my friend Mary came to be with me as I packed Hannah's things. That was a hard thing to do. After we finished I just climbed in her bed and cried. I decided that if I even thought it might have some significance I was keeping it. I'll go through it more later when I can. We also created a box of things I wanted to keep close and easily accessible. The last blanket she lay on, her favorite books, pillow, etc. So, it's done and I'm glad it's done but it was oh so sad. I was completely and totally mentally exhausted and a numbness set in similar to what I felt right after her funeral. Still I felt the prayers of my friends and had a friend with me that helped me keep it all in perspective. I'm thankful.

All these good byes are really tough. I pray none of you ever have to experience the loss of your child. There is no worse heartache. The only thing that gets us through it is the prayer and support of friends. Thank you!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You will never say goodbye,nor will you ever forget. some days will slap you in the face as though this is the last day of her life, but she will always be there in your hearts. At this time it seems the pain is so bad you don't know how you will go on, but trust me and take it from one that knows from experience, it will get easier to live with. The Lord will be right by your side and ease that pain for you and your family but you will never forget the precious little girl that brought so much love and happiness into your lives. We love you and your family and will keep you in our prayers.