Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day

Yes, it was a tough one but I made it. I woke up to cards from the men in my life and the tears started. I miss my girl. I've always known she'd never be back but there comes a time in the grief process where it sets in and it's really hard. I have felt heartache like I can not even describe. Life has been forever altered for me and I have to find my way in this new world. It's really tough stuff. I said that already didn't I? Every step I take to move on, my heart wants to pull me back. But it wants something that is no longer there. Somehow Hannah has to remain part of my life but in my new world. It's a journey that keeps me on my knees and in God's word for sure. So, yeah Mother's Day was terribly difficult, but still good. I had breakfast with my men and hung out with them all day. They don't mind my tears. They just hug me and let me know they miss Hannah too. I'm blessed to have two wonderful boys, a fabulous husband, and my Koolio.

Last week was a busy one. We've been needing to move for some time. We could not make up our minds about whether to move closer to David's job or not. I've been looking everywhere and praying hard. Everything I looked at was either way over our budget or the neighborhood was less than desirable. On Sunday I saw a house online in Arlington. I loved it from the pictures but you never know if the pictures will do it justice. I made arrangements to look at it Tuesday, fell in love with it the minute I saw it, filled out an ap, and met the owner on Saturday to discuss terms and show the house to David. So, we will be relocating in a few weeks to Arlington. The house and neighborhood are for us. David and I are in awe of how it is everything we've ever wanted. We are excited and ready for the next chapter of our lives in this home we already love.

That all being said leaving Hillsboro will be very hard. It's the only home Hannah ever knew. It's been a place that has supported our family through very difficult times and has rallied behind us in everything we've endeavored to do. We have friends here. Very dear friends who mean the world to us. The teachers and support staff that loved my girl almost as much as I do are here. Leaving will not be easy and the decision was one we agonized over. It's just time.

David's job is more demanding and time consuming, gasoline is nearing $3 a gallon, Kyle will be at Huntsville in college, our current home is in need of a lot of work, Zach wants to get into radio stuff, and I will go back to school eventually. We all feel like we need change. Everywhere we go and everywhere we look someone or something reminds us of our loss. Not that we'll ever forget it but we just can't live in it all the time. I'm hoping people will understand.

Here are pictures of the house...


Anonymous said...

Woo hoo!!!!!!!
I'm so thankful!
I'm still praying!
Blessings and love,

Rachael said...

I am so glad to hear that you are all listenig to God as He leads you all down new paths, branching out and trusting God to deliver you from your pain. I am happy with whatever makes you happy! But you will all be missed terribly.
Tons of love,

Sally G said...

Marcey, it looks beautiful and peaceful and blessed. May this move be such a huge blessing for you all. You are one great Mom, and one great person. Love you lots.