Friday, July 17, 2009

One year ago today....

On this day one year ago we got on the roller coaster of a lifetime. Hannah's had seizures since she was 7 mths old and I had always been assured seizures were not life threatening; a person doesn't die from seizuers. I found out otherwise. Hannah had a 2 1/2 hour status epileptus seizure and we nearly lost her. After two hours in the Hillsboro hospital being stabilized, she was careflighted to Cook's in Fort Worth. She went straight to PICU and we were warned that she may not be able to talk or walk when she awoke and could need therapy to learn again. I cannot describe the fear that had gripped me. All I knew to do was pray and ask others to pray.

We weren't sure when Hannah would regain conscienceness and alot was riding on what happened when she did. Around 4 a.m. the first night we were there she awoke and began fighting the intubation. They decided to remove the tubes. I coulnd't watch it. David stayed. His strength never ceases to amaze me. As soon as the tubes were removed she opened her mouth and asked for her momma and her PJ's. No sweeter words were ever spoken I can assure you.

We spent a couple of days in PICU before moving to the epilepsy floor. From start to finish we were there 7 days. I watched as God amazed us continously through the ordeal. Everytime a concern came up I'd ask for prayer and everytime sometimes within hours our prayers were answered. The biggest one I remember was that Hannah couldn't walk right. She was walking but it was not good at all. The physical therapist came in and did an evaluation and ordered inpatient physical therapy. At that point I was afraid we'd never get out of the hospital. I asked for prayer and the next day another therapist came to do Hannah's therapy and Hannah just hopped up and walked normally. The therapist grabbed her chart and looked at it and said, "checking to see if I have the right little girl". She dismissed us that day and the doctors came in and let us go home.

As bad as all this was, it was amazing too. It was the starting point of a journey that is tremendously hard and laiden with fear at every step, but it has taught me so much about this life and the preciousness of it. I sat here this morning holding Hannah and thanking God that I can still hold her. This journey is not near over. We've had 5 more of those same ordeals played out in the past year not counting all the smaller episodes. At this point I feel like with everything I have learned about epilepsy I know nothing. The doctors are baffled. We're all trying to find out what is going on and want to fix it. Hannah's needs are great. I get down and my faith waivers. I cling to the scripture that says...." And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose." Today I thank God that this is not the end of the journey and that the story hasn't had it's last chapter written. I thank Him for the hundreds of people who have come to care for Hannah and our family and who pray for us even when we can't pray for ourselves. Thank you. You mean the world to us and I hope you know it. We wouldn't have made it through this past year without you. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.


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