Thursday, June 11, 2009


O.K. So, I am now a parent of an child with autism who screams and screaches loudly and shrilly. I have heard others talk about it but Hannah was one who did not do it. I can't tell you how unnerving it is to hear her screech out shrilly out of the blue. The most unnerving thing is that it is exactly how her complex partials start so EVERY TIME she does it my heart jumps to my throat and I run to see if she is o.k. This is going to take years off my life y'all. Seriously, it is awful.

She's doing o.k. otherwise. Seems to be recovering and getting back to normal. She still looks awful. Especially her arms. I cannot get the tape residue off her arms so she looks dirty. SIGH! We backed off on her beginning dosages of tegratol so she is not as lathargic as she was. I'm still so nervous and hoping this med works. Someone told me earlier in the week that one of the EMT's told them that Hannah actually died at one point while they were trying to stabilize her. That just scares the crap out of me. I do not want to lose her. SIGH! I don't know what I'd do without her. Actually I seriously don't know if I could go on. I can't imagine losing her and it terrifies me to think I may.

She's been super bored today. She misses school so bad. I've played with her most of the day but she really misses her friends and teachers. It's hard to believe that there is not ESY here considering the requirements for the service. Hannah would qualify in a minute. Oh well, we do the best we can with what we have and I will try to treasure every moment I have regardless of whether I get anything else done or not.

Everyone else is doing o.k. The boys are doing their normal summer routine. Stay up and mess all night and sleep all day. Ugggh! David is working hard at Harwood.

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